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As your relationship progresses, it can be hard to keep things from feeling stale. You may find yourself falling into the same old date night routines. A night out at the club, dinner at her place, coffee at lunchtime. These are all fine dates, but both of you need a little variety! For your next date night, why not surprise her with flowers and a vibrator?

Unless both of you met on some kinky dating website, this is probably not the right approach for a first date. However, if you’ve been seeing each other for a while, this clever gift could blow her mind. So how do you take the plunge?

Picking out a sex toy can be a very personal experience for a woman. For a guy who isn’t used to looking through dildos, the sheer number of options to sort through can be daunting. How do you pick out what size, shape, and features she wants? Unless you’ve seen her toy collection, you don’t.

Part of this gift is about selecting things you think she’ll like. Think about what she enjoys in bed. Does she like you going down on her? She might appreciate something with strong vibrations to use on her clitoris. Does she enjoy g-spot stimulation? There are a variety of dildos and vibrators available that are curved to hit her favorite spot. Is she constantly begging you for harder and deeper? Go with something long and thick to drive her wild. If you’re unsure, select two or three items you think she’ll enjoy.

If you have seen her toy collection, then you already have a good idea of what she likes. Look for items that are similar to what she owns, but not the same.

The real charm of this gift lies in the presentation and intent. If you’re in a fancy restaurant and produce a giant, wiggling dong in the middle of dinner, odds are she isn’t going to respond well. How do you tactfully and respectfully present your girl with a box of phalluses?

The presentation is best done privately, early into the date. Tell her you’ve planned something but be vague. Head to her place and present her with something more traditional, like flowers. Come in and talk. Kiss her. Ask her about her day. Let her ask about what you have planned, then give her your second gift.

Framing is very important. This is less about wanting in her pants and more about pleasing her. Let her know you bought these for her because you want to find new ways to bring her pleasure, and because you wanted something you could share. Even if she doesn’t like the sex toys you bought for her, odds are she will appreciate your thoughtfulness. If you maintain that level of caring, your relationship will go far.